We should try to figure who is responsible for this situation - not in order to point the guilty ones, but to find out where the mistakes were made, and what kind of mistakes, so we can take some proper steps to correct them.
We think, there are three major factors affecting family relationships in a very negative way.
One is not really parents' fault, and it is not easy to be corrected; the other two depend on us, parents, and they are correctable, but it requires all the parents take action and make some changes in their attitude.
The first factor that influences our family relations, thus our entire society, is the fact that parents do not have enough time for their kids. As we said, we cannot blame parents for that now - today for most families it is a necessity. Very rarely a mother decides to leave home only to satisfy her ambition, to make career, to gain prestige. Although, that's how it started a few decades ago, when the emancipation movement was initiated. Was it really worth it to fight for the right not to be different from men? Of course, women gained a lot, but they also lost a lot. What is a balance - positive or negative - every woman has to answer herself. For sure kids are the ones who lost on this "achievement". Canned or boxed dinners are for many of them an every day's reality. Television movies create their general believes, their system of values, their picture of the world - not a loving, caring mother, not a wise, respected father. Computer is their partner for games - not parents spending quality time with a kid. Internet is a mean for social life - not family visits. We watch with some kind of nostalgia movies from the sixties like "Bewitched", "Herman Munster", "Mr. Ed"… In all of them, you can feel this charming warmth of a family nest - cozy, secure and full with woman's love. Why is that? Because in all these movies women are home - they are housewives. "Just housewives" some women may say. Is this really so bad - to be a housewife? Is it really better to rush to work every morning getting stuck on the freeway? To get butterflies in your stomach thinking if you will complete your assignment on time and if your boss will be happy with your job? To miss all the wonderful moments from your child's life knowing that some of these moments will never come back as your kid grows? Look what stress does to your face. To your relationships. Yes, you are independent. Independent - and stressed out. Independent - and slowly losing the intimate bond between you and your husband. Independent - and feeling so insecure. You were supposed to feel important because of your work achievements. Important to whom? Who and what is important to you? Answer yourself: what values are most important to you? Who is the most important person to you?
It is not a shame to be a housewife if you only can afford it. It is an honor to be a housewife. This is an extremely important and responsible role. A future of the entire society depends on you. Not only because of your dedication in raising children who are a future of our country. Women, you should realize that you are the ones who give your man strength. They mostly even do not realize that behind their success stands a quiet, loving woman securing for him a safe, warm nest where he can rush impatiently after work. And he doesn't have to realize that - as long as it helps you to be happy together.
Unfortunately, in practice it is not so often possible any more that a family could live just on husband's earnings. Mostly, both parents are forced to be out of home.
The results are very sad. Parents have no control over whom their children visit, and whom they invite home - who influences their kids' mind, who creates their picture of the world. Kids can see parents always in hurry, many times irritated, stressed out, having no time to listen to their kids no matter what they would like to say - whether to share their joy, or to seek help in a problem situation.
As I said, we cannot blame parents for this, but also we cannot say, "Well, there is nothing they can do." Of course, we all can do something to make it at least a little bit easier for the kids - and we have to. As a matter of fact, we write another article about this subject alone.